Enriching my Odyssey

As far as I remember myself, I always have had love for words (since 7 th standard) and in my initial stages of blogging ‘ Words said/unsaid ’ too was motivated by it... I believe words are magical… of course they are ... for doesn't it strike the chords of your heart when someone* summons you by… their ‘swthrt’ or ‘honey’ or ‘baby’or ‘bachcha’ or ‘beta’or ‘sweety pie’ or ‘shweetie’ or ‘shona/shonu’ or ‘dearie’ or ‘princess’and many more.. or the first ‘I Love You’ … indulging isn't it? When you mean it … they help you say it… but when you don’ they need to be chosen wisely… shouldn't they… at least I and the people whom I closely connect to feel so... we don’t even say ‘dear’ when we don’t really mean it ... but how many people indeed think before saying …well I am not finding faults with them … they are groomed differently… that’s it… After socializing enough since last 6 months, I think with the changing times, one needs to adapt to the new forms of greeting… ...

Life has changed or may be I have .. Nothing really delights me.. Its just going on.. As ppl say .. 'Life doesn't wait for anyone'.. Heights are cold & lonely, I had heard & felt too! Depths are enjoyable, with other lone divers! And the land, it's the same, sooooo normal!  Desire to fly got over, At least for the time being... Till I find wings or get gifted, for hopes don't die, That's how dreamers live!

Some days I can’t accept the facts,  It turns my nights sleepless! My stomach churns with despair, & brain helpless of remorse! Don’t know what he really wished for, Coz I prayed for his wishes to come true! Now he is happy& I m a deadpan! Tasting the medicine I made inadvertently, And I wonder will this kill me or Will life give one more chance to make amends! So many new lessons for life, First, there are no GODS here! And if you chose to be one, It’s your battle alone! Second, on similar lines, Eventually everyone think of themselves, Selflessness is an illusion, And so are the promises of a broken/happy heart! Some fool others, I chose to fool myself! May be this is a hill out of mole(for some), But I m on the side with no road sign, & I have to climb this hill to move to the other side! To find the road to peace & life!

In a post before I quoted that ‘ my encounter with love was the most beautiful one ’ …. ya exactly it was … like a beautiful dream … a dream that lasted lil too long that I couldn’t wake up … coz I didn’t want to … I wanted to leave things on time … and time broke it … it played an alarm … whose clock I don’t have …  it’s ringing & is maddening me coz I want to complete my dream.. the groundless forevers that I believed in … but those invisible bonds I kept so close, disappeared … probably they never were … I hope the alarm wakes me up soon..!! I am a dreamer and dreamers have tough time living the real life… blessed are those who see things as they are and not as they want them to be… Another analogy to the situation I felt while walking towards the sea this time… When you want to reach deep waters you can’t run towards it, you walk slowly making your way through the sand, going deep into it with every step you take further & then when you are drowned in ...

Let go, the memories of shared laugher & pain! Let go, the music which expressed your feelings! Let go, the breaths which snuggled you to life! Let go, the chatter the never ending delight! Let go, the love It is done with hope! Let go, the castles Whose foundations couldn’t be laid! Let go, the precept Sowed would be reaped! Let go, the fears It’s an ephemeral world anyways! Let go, those friendships Which are acquaintances now! Let go, the grudges You have outlived them! Let go, the desires Which have been conquered!! Let go, the sick ones Who are reluctant to cures ! Let go is the key, It lets me be, It sets me free, & leads me to Thee! Mind you: It  isn't e a sy  ! !

OMG  ..this is the limit… you know what happened … ! A flat mate of mine has been famous for pilfering things since the beginning and I was warned by girls before to take care of my belongings as I have this habit of ‘keep & forget’ and then later on bang my head for ‘where did I saw it last ’ :( … When I had entered this house, I had lined up the things to where they belong... of course you would keep handwash & toothpaste near the basin or bodywash in the bathroom … and dishwash in the kitchen ... and the girls mocked... ‘She is new, let her learn where to keep what’ ... I thought they were insane until one fine day, couple of washing soaps just disappeared and I wondered I can’t be that forgetful...  and how foolishly I had been ignoring that all the ‘washes’ were depleting at a very rapid rate..   Another day I caught her red handed filling her jar with the salt packet I had kept in the kitchen ... I was shocked not just for her act but ‘SALT’...

So what is my idea of a perfect day?   There are many and as I read somewhere, ‘You can have it all not all at once’... the gleeful moments of the day that made this one content are here  J   .. Well, little things can turn me on**  J  and these days, rains are enough to drive me crazy for nothing … To add to it, chatter with close buddies on not so worldly topics like ‘music’, ‘which books to buy next’, ‘photography’, ‘our demarcation of mediocre and excellent’ etc.. is such a delight..The M.Phil. going parallel is another satisfaction... Then the pleasure of riding 17 kms on almost potholes free roads amidst the soo romantic drizzles with Bryan Adams playing exclusively in your ears.. ‘little love’ , ‘have you ever really loved a women’ followed by Sheryl crows’ ‘soak up the sun’ .. as if everyone is pepping me up ;) ..OMG what more can I expect :D..   Okay now comes the philanthropic activity of the day ... the phone recharge for a lady...

Incomplete I feel but could appease, Restless I walk but don’t stop, Cluttered are my thoughts but rhyme, Fake is my smile but will delight, Shattered is my soul but could pacify, Lost is my light but could guide, Hollow I laugh but spread glee, Choked is my breath but could revive, Watery are my eyes but sparkle, Shaken is my faith but could reconcile…… Belittled are my dreams but                   I’ll make yours come true!! Germinated by a lil thought : Whatever life throws at us, We create our own aura, don’t we :)! 

Tears are awesome companions, With every flow washing memories lil by lil, Calming your smoldering grief, Hidden behind the unnecessary laughter! Tears quietly scream on your undesirable fate, Questioning HIS decisions with the profuse stream, Carrying your sins away, Liberating you from the invisible burden! Tears flowing incessantly, Making eyes work so hard, Tearing your pain apart, Paving way for your peaceful sleep! Tears are awesome companions!

This is some personal stuff similar to any other post of mine except that this is too direct and I am not sure this should be posted, bt right now my 'all secrets sharer'  Ak might have slept and I could just relish the freedom of being a blogger! What really happened is, I updated my profile pic on FB yesterday and guess what ???        90 likes in 24 hours!! I had to reconsider my beliefs about myself; I look pretty at least after finely editing the picture ;)! Or people had become very active on social networking and I have become lil more popular over time!  Well the ‘first times of life’ are the most exciting and here it was the ‘first time’ close to 100 likes that made me overwhelmed. Though there are friends who get even 300+ but I decided not to bother myself with such comparisons and stay happy with my plate! That’s not the end of the story, as a matter of habit, on close analysis, here ‘likes’, I found around 12 were from ppl who...

Moving away, From the friendships that judge! Getting over, The relation devoid of trust! Waking up, From a deep slumber of fanciful assumptions! Rising above,     The mere right-wrong attitude! Leaving behind, All the guilt & regrets to naivety & credulity! Hugging along, All who stood by! Laughing out, My misconception of ‘Forever’! Walking towards, ‘You’ and budding into a soulful being! I Bloom  J !

The sequel is ready on 'threesome' demand ;) .. This time there are no 'Buts' .. but are the 'lessons learnt' from the repercussions of my overly imaginative and emotional behaviour! (Nuts me !!) 1.        People move on .... … no matter how much they say they love you. They should  J   , shouldn’t they? 2.        Music and Time are great healers*. Good music keeps the mind occupied and helps to pass the time, then time lessens the intensity of your hurts. 3.        Watch your feelings and don’t let them take decisions for you.                                                                            Feelings change but decisions last forever!  4.    ...

If you haven’t walked my road, You’ll not understand my journey! If you don’t understand my journey, You’ll not understand my being! If you don’t understand my being, You don’t have rights to question me! If you don’t have such rights, You can only accept me the way I am! If you can’t do that, Just eff off and don’t turn back !                                            On a light note, my feelings are similar to hers ;)

I know you love me... Taking care of me, Like you have always been… Though I am unable to find, I know u r somewhere around! I know you’ll guide me, I embrace your lessons for life, ‘True friends/ love are expensive’, ‘Be happy with everything’! These milestones pave my way, Everything is disguised, like you, It’s fine as long as you surround, Be mysterious but be around ! I know you’ll bless me, I am among your fvr8 kids J ! You accept me with my mistakes, Coz my love is never fake! Just a matter of time, My wishes and your plan  will soon chime! Though it’s difficult to unwind, I know you are smoothening the wounds, Somewhere around! I know you’ll hold me, You’ll not let me break. For if I do, you too are let - down! I understand your faith on me, I have the same on you..! So I am not even trying to find, I know u r somewhere around! I know you’ll light my way, And help me see through the dark! My fairy drea...

In the last few months I have felt these things very often(with some own & some others' experiences), so thought it would be a good idea to list them down for future reference; to later on either giggle at my unripe wisdom or take pride in premature enlightenment… All I mean is that the "But" part always existed but I Realized it lately! Here it goes! 1. You will have complains with everyone you meet..Including your parents, siblings, spouse, best friends… But .. Grumble won’t last forever …so Don’t hurt them.. They are all you have.. (Go and apologize :P) 2. If you really love someone and want to be with them you would do anything to be with them… But .. If you start finding excuses..  There is something wrong !! (Time to rethink :O)  3. We all are different and beautiful creations of God …It’s better to focus on the positive side of any person.... But while making a choice don’t be completely blindfolded by the virtues… (The vic...

Spread joy, Why coy? Share a joke, Gently poke;) Take it easy, Sometimes cheesy! Always do good, But in forgethood!! Welcome change, Beyond ‘range’!! Feel light, Even with pizza bite :D!! Fake some bills ;) It’s okay, CHILL!! Practice jog, Rain or fog! Read good stories, Then, Rejoice the satori..! Spare time to Cook, Delight beyond books! “Try to”.. Play fair, Love or chair! Eat fruits, Stick to your roots!! Make a melody, When feeling cloudy L ! Stay polite, Wrong or right! Work hard, Crossing yards! If they feel u r Bore It’s simply their sore… :P Waste ur Sundays, Have some Fundays! Keep on dreaming, Till no one is screaming... Dare to Dance, Let’s take a chance! Sleep enough, Hey Alarm, Rebuff!!! Enjoyed the rhyme…. It’s comments’ time :P J !!